The Bonds We Share
As the end of March nears, I face that big elephant in the room – loss – you suck! I simultaneously celebrate and remember my son Lucas, who ironically passed on his 18th birthday.
The Bond book pictured, was a thoughtful gift from Lucas as we were both fans. However, the bond of laughter we shared is what inspires my blog and keeps me moving forward.
Acknowledging this month, here are some things I’d like to share that make me smile.
These excerpts are taken from my book 18 Forever
The bond of laughter
As Lucas was growing up and achieving great things like lasting friendships, good manners, terrific grades and great work ethic, he was also developing a very funny sense of humour that I loved to encourage. He really understood the value of making people laugh and of not taking things too seriously.
As we had such similar wit, we enjoyed watching certain styles of movies and TV shows together, which made us look at each other and laugh hysterically.
When Lucas, Alisha and I watched shows together we’d often replay the funny scenes or lines over and over repeatedly, which became funnier each time – it was just something we just did!
The bond of family
Lucas as a teenager of course loved to sleep, much to Les’ horror of “Wasting the day!” He could sleep any time of the day or night. From the time he was little he would always fall asleep in the car no matter how long the journey. When Les was driving, in order to wake him up when we neared home, Les would deliberately swerve the car when the road was deserted, so Lucas would bump his head on the window and we’d all get a good laugh, except a grumpy Lucas!
On a day that Lucas was staying home to study while Alisha, Les and myself went out, she just had this gut feeling and set her laptop up to video. Her instincts were right. She had caught Lucas on video coming into her room, finding her guitar and sitting down playing it while he had a decent chance! It was hilarious that he had been caught out and could not deny it. He bought his own guitar after that and taught himself how to play.
The bond with friends
As part of their school commitment, Lucas’ year group was required to work a certain number of hours ‘community service’ and the kids were given a choice of the work they wanted to provide. Lucas chose his service at the Epiphany Retreat Centre which basically needed a massive yard clean-up. At the end of the day when I came to pick him up, to my surprise, I saw him with a big smile on his face driving the yard tractor with the trailer attached, piled high with branches. Then another lap, this time some of the girls hitching a ride in the trailer, he was in his element!
The Boys created a dud ceremony in Year 11 & 12 called the Doumbia awards. This involved them and many of the boys from their year group gathering at lunch time, donning bow ties and holding a ceremony to hand out random goofy/bad awards.
And something new…
Just recently I was looking in my office cupboard and came across a display folder of Lucas’ I hadn’t been through before. I thought it contained some of his schoolwork, but I also found a few other things he’d placed in there. One of them was an x-ray of his hand he’d cut out showing ‘the bird’. This sits on my desk now as a reminder of him not taking things too seriously.
“There’s always something to smile about”